Monday, November 19, 2012

"It's an awfully nice day for a rant"

When I looked outside my window, 'twas a bright and sunny morn
But I knew the UV Index meant a hat I would adorn,
My lovely shaded spectacles, I placed upon my face,
Then I exited my humble join the human raaaaaace.


The front lawn is too long, from the rock that broke my mower,
And that car is way too fast, it should really drive much slower,
If the dog next door, would kindly cross his legs,
I could reach my gate, 'thout dodging chocolate eggs,

Now my mailbox is full, filled up with shopping junk,
and that overflowing wheelie bin's packed high with oozing gunk,
My gate's too rusty, fence too low and the driveway's at a slant,
Oh it seems as if today's an awfully nice day for a rant.

Before I left the house I read a status on facebook,
A friend was feeling down and so she dangled out that hook,
Fishing for some compliments to help her feel tall,
but the fish that take the bait are the dumbest fish of all,

And twitter was the same with some stranger crying poor,
and dissing those who offered a little sympathetic "Aww",
Empathy is dead and self-absorption is extant,
Oh it seems as if today's an awfully nice day for a rant.

Jews and Muslims at it, can't they try and sort this out,
Oh wait so now I am the bad guy cos in I poked my Godless snout,
It's hard to break a habit of a lifetime so I guess,
I'll go and write a critique on Miss Gaga's latest dress.

Obama is from Kenya? Romney loves Joe Smith?
One of those is bullshit, the other is a myth,
Did you know it cost me 50 just to buy a bamboo plant?
Oh what a glorious day this is to have a teensy weensy rant

The cost of my 'lectricity is going through the roof,
And Abbott says the Carbon Tax is why, he says "it's proof!",
But the PM, she insists that it is garbage that Tone spews,
And we'll no doubt have a listen once she gets some better shoes

The tyres on my car didn't grip until I'd stopped,
The floor in work's bathroom's never ever been wet mopped,
I've got two plastic tabs a holding up the cuffs on these here pant,
Man if feels good to have an irritating rant.


Perspective is a great thing, it helps you notice more,
like how one's dire predicament, we've all been through before,
So when you're full of bitching, some moaning, and some sookin'
It pays to have a think about the people who are lookin'

Dumb is not a hobby, it's a habit and all the rage,
And it doesn't change a bit if you're young or old in age,
So if you feel the time is right and and now's your time to chant,
Find whatever shits you off and have a little rant.

1 comment:

  1. Thankyou for this opportunity:

    I have a number of friends travelling soon
    To places far and wide
    But when I submitted my own request for leave
    It was emphatically denied

    So I will be spending all summer long
    Working my fingers to the bone
    And from what I hear from my colleagues
    I will most likely be here alone

    But I have decided to accept this decision
    With a different frame of mind
    Maybe the company can’t do without me
    And will pay me back in kind.

    I feel better already