Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I'm all right Jack!

Picture this if you will.

You arrive home one day and notice that someone has trampled on your garden.
Nobody is around, but there are definitely flat flowers in the garden.
Concerned, you shrug your shoulders and head inside.

As you go inside the phone rings.
You answer it.
"Hello?"
On the line is your landlord.

Artist's impression only
He tells you that while you were out he heard that there was a burglar in the street stealing everyone's belongings. He eases your concerns by revealing that he took the initiative while you were out and bought a big German Shepard to patrol your yard.


I'm stealing your VCR!
Not only that, but he saw that this burglar was actually vandalising the houses as well.
Really nasty damage!
Looting the street!
All these houses, some more badly damaged than others, but all affected by this utter prick just strolling down the street.

The landlord also tells you that he shored up the fence, put a new wire door on the front of the house and added some window locks just to be certain. After all, the other people in the street were losing all their stuff, it was nuts.
He really saved your skin!

"How much did all this cost?" you ask.
"A fair bit" he says, "but your stuff is safe, your house is safe and really, there's only a little but of damage on the garden where he broke some of the flowers off along the fence line".

It's trampling on the lobelias!

So what do you do?

Do you thank the Landlord for saving your stuff, knowing that you'll have to pay him back over a long period of time, but it's not actually that much in the grand scheme of things cos you had no insurance and the stuff you own would have been WAY too much for you to replace. And the reality is, everyone else in the street lost a heap of stuff, some even had their houses vandalised and a couple seem to have had them burnt down.

OR

Do you tell your landlord that he has just wasted a whole lot of money? After all, your house is fine and you saw no sign of any burglar. Sure, someone told you that houses were vandalised, but hold on, it was your landlord who told you! You never visit those other houses, and he's full of crap anyway, like when he tried to install some ceiling insulation in those other houses he owns and someone died in one of them cos they didn't take care.

Not sure you can trust him.

What do you do?

Hold on, the phone is ringing again.
"Hello?"

This time it is a different landlord from the street around the corner.
He tells you that had you been his tenant, he'd have saved your house with a cheaper fence and a smaller dog. Same protection, but you know, less outlay.
And besides, he reckons you'd be better off with him and that the reality is, now you're no better off than the houses down the road that were burgled.


And with the money you owe your landlord you're heading in the same direction as those poor buggers whose houses the burglar lit on fire.

Shit! Is that true?

Ahh..would I ah lie to ah you?
But wait, those guys have a debt AND no house!
I have a house and a manageable debt, plus all my stuff is there.

But this landlord is insistent. He's telling me that he's a better landlord cos he would have saved me better and cheaper.

What?

It's very simple.
Hang up on this joker.

You got out of trouble through the good management and prudent spending by your landlord.
He saved your house and your belongings when other people in the same situation lost everything.
You might not appreciate it as you never visit your neighbours, but they tell people how lucky you were, you dodged a bullet. They wish it was only some flowers in their garden that were damaged.

Not every bit of your property is in tip top shape, but would you rather be living next door?

Thank your bloody landlord!

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